Alben & Lieder

Dirty Ferdi

1958, Musik: Gerhard Bronner, Text: Georg Kreisler

Dirty Ferdy was a cowboy most notorious
you could smell him in the distance of a mile.
Oh, but look at him tonight, where he looks glorious,
that’s because he took a bath and dressed in style.
Farmer Joe was getting married tonight, so there was a dance.

Dirty Ferdy and his girlfriend dirty Marilyn
rode the horses from the stables to the car.
Dirty Marilyn was looking very feminine,
and was smoking nothing worse than a cigar
Farmer Joe was getting married tonight, so there was a dance.

At the „Dead-Man’s  Bar“, where the dance was held
the proprietor had put a neon sign that said:
„Now, boys, before you go in steppin’,
please check your guns and any other shootin’ weapon“
So Ferdy checked his pistol, he was a cavalier,
and he knew Marilyn had two more pistols in her brassiere.

So now then that was okay,
so the band rose to play
 a be-bop version of the overture to „Götterdämmerung“
And Marilyn took off her mink,
and then they all had a drink,
and another, to a song by Humperdinck.

All the boys and girls were right polite,
Farmer Joe, as you know, was getting spliced tonight.
The Saxophonist was playing a run,
whereat the highest note turned out a little flat,
wherupon Ferdy, who didn’t think that fun,
said to Marilyn: „That’s a dirty rat!“

But the lights were dim,  
so cowboy Jim
thought that Ferdy had directed that remark at him
and as he used to go with Marilyn ‘til Ferdy came along
he felt such criticism morbid, inconsiderate and wrong.

He didn’t want to fray,
that’s not „distingue“
so he just bit Ferdy’s nose off, and threw it away.
Dirty Ferdy was hit!
Oh! He could spit,
for his pistols he had checked and he was lost without it.
But all at once he felt much better:
He remembered, Marilyn had two pistols in her sweater!
And with this attitude
he kicked Jim’s lower latitude.

Through that kick cowboy Jim could have flown to the moon,
but the room came to an end and stopped his flight.
He broke the ribs of several others to be spiteful,
to farmer Joe this was all terribly frightful.
But his wife said: „This wedding is delightful!
Now, let’s get Dirty Ferdy, and let’s get him tonigh!“

Ferdy knew, the time had come to use ‘em,
and shouted: „Marilyn, hand me those pistols from your bosom!“
But Marilyn cried: „Surprise, surprise!  
With my last two bullets I just killed three guys!“

And since empty pistols carry no authority,
Dirty Ferdy tried at first to run away.
But it was him against the terrible majority,
and he woke up in the hospital next day.
And they gave him a shot of penicillin there,
and a pretty nurse.

..As has been mentioned, Dirty Ferdy was a cowboy most notorious,
you could smell him in the distance of a mile.
But it took him just a week and he looked glorious.
‘Cause he took a bath and dressed himself in style.
Farmer Joe was getting divorced again , so everyone could dance some more.